Desert Rat Patrol
By William Sariego
January 2014

The Rat Patrol, a TV series which ran from 1966 to 1968, was highly entertaining. To this day the musical score never ceases to thrill me. As far as history goes, it was rather bad . . . very bad, even by 1960s standards. Still, TV is entertainment and not very reliable by nature so I’m actually not being overly critical.

Land of the Rat Patrol.

Five actors were regulars in The Rat Patrol. Privates Tully Pettigrew (Justin Tarr) and Mark Hitchcock (Lawrence Casey) drove the jeeps and pretty much saw the TV series as the peaks of their acting careers. As Sgt. Sam Troy, Christopher George had a decent career outside the show, especially in westerns and war movies. Gary Raymond (Sgt. Jack Moffat) was on loan from the SAS for the TV series, and had a fairly prominent stage career before and after the series (he also played the Apostle Peter in The Greatest Story Ever Told). The most successful of the cast, however, was the constant scapegoat and luckless, but honorable bad guy. Hans Gudegast, who later changed his name to Eric Braeden, has had a solid, if not spectacular film career (find him in Titanic as John Jacob Astor) and made a holy fortune playing the role of Victor in TV’s daily soap opera The Young and The Restless.

Rat Patrol in Panzer Grenadier?

Call this article a whim, a result of insomnia or even bad vodka, I don’t care! Our brave heroes of 1960s celluloid can be put into the Panzer Grenadier series with the greatest of ease.

Start with the basics. We have two U.S. jeeps armed with .50 caliber machine guns. In Cassino, we have a jeep counter with a movement factor of 12 that is unarmed. The American HMG has a direct fire value of 10-5.

In Panzer Grenadier, each counter represents 3 to 5 vehicles or 2 to 4 weapons. So at this point we have a jeep counter with a fire value of 10-5. A stretch, perhaps, for just two vehicles, but remember: These guys are heroes! Here is where I bend history a bit, but hey, this is Hollywood, baby, and if you weren’t interested you would not be reading this far!

Still in the desert.

Treat the jeep as an AFV. The counter has its own inherent AFV leader and no transport value. It has an Armor Value of 0 and can take a step loss. Our heroes were often able to find chinks in German armor and so have an AT Fire Value of 2-4. If they’ve suffered a step loss, representing the loss or incapacitation of one jeep, the direct fire value and AT value reduce to 5-5 and 1-4, respectively. Anti-tank fire doesn’t usually get reduced, but since we’re talking Hollywood here. . . .

Two final special rules represent Hollywood over history at its best (or worst). The Rat Patrol’s movement is never modified by terrain (these guys can drive!). The jeep pays 1 MP per hex, period.

Also, the Rat Patrol gets a special saving throw against any attack that would reduce or eliminate it. Before removing (or reducing) the jeep, roll one die. On a result of five or six, ignore the combat result and our brave lads fight on as normal (or until next week’s episode).

And we can’t forget our (in)famous bad guy. Dietrich is an Afrika Korps captain with Morale value of 9 and Fire and Morale Modifiers of 1 (each).

Postscript

With so many scenarios included in each new incarnation of Panzer Grenadier, I cannot imagine the series ever growing stale to its fans. Still, something different every once and a while is nice. I hope fans of the game enjoy putting a little Hollywood in their scenarios as a nice change of pace.

Lead the Rat Patrol into battle in Desert Rats!